The Virtue of Disobedience – Chapter 2
Welcome back, Comrades -
In our last chapter, we examined techniques for resisting the will of adults through passive non-attention, otherwise known as displaced focus. While the non-attention method can yield some temporary success, sooner or later the adults will counter your lack of enthusiastic compliance by attempting to grab and physically carry you off to whatever undesirable destination or activity awaits. Here, physical as well as mental techniques must come into play as you adopt the toddler resistance posture known as The Sandbag:
1. Loosen your back and torso muscles so there is no rigidity in your abdominal section that might provide the adult with some usable leverage.
2. Loosen your neck muscles and allow your head loll forwards, backwards, or side-to-side depending on how you are being held by the adult.
3. Unlock your knees so that the adult is unable to stand you up on the floor without simply causing you to collapse completely.
4. If you are being dragged by the upper torso, be sure to let your feet and legs become entangled in any potential obstacle within reach – furniture, toys, the dog, etc.
Advanced Technique: Modified Sandbag Pose
The Modified Sandbag Pose is a highly useful method involving both active and passive resistance techniques. You will have already discovered that your greatest point of vulnerability lies in being grasped by the upper torso beneath the arms. In so doing, the adult uses the leverage point created by your armpits to gain a decisive advantage in the struggle to get you to the bathtub, dinner table, car seat, etc.
Fortunately, at 2-4 years of age, you are still flexible enough to execute the necessary counter-maneuver, although it will take some practice to master. Here is a basic guideline:
1. Bend at the waist and knees, bringing your legs up in back of you. This shifts the center of your weight away from the vertical axis of the adult’s body.
2. The shift in balance should cause the adult to lean forward slightly. When you sense this, loosen your upper torso and shoulder muscles.
3. Let your upper arms relax and roll your shoulders upward so that your armpits are no longer providing leverage for the adult’s grip on your torso.
4. As you begin to slide downwards, raise your arms above your head. You will quickly slither out of the adult’s grasp.
5. Unlock your knees and return to your prone position on the ground.
6. Repeat steps 1 through 5 as necessary.
Again, don’t hesitate to experiment with other variations on the Sandbag method. Remember that every adult is different, and it may take some time to discover the exact body posture for exploiting the mental and physical limitations of your particular parents.
Good luck, Comrades – and stay tuned for the next installment of The Virtue of Disobedience.
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Hah! Won’t be too long before we’re experiencing the sandbag.